she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
