"it" just moved
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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