"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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