I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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