but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
