every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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