OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
