Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
