She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
