hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
