how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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