i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
