none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
