I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
vagina is talking i cant
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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