did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
