i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
