My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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