He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
