so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
