I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
