Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
