I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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