I will die if light touches me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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