why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When did angry sex become our thing?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
