But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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