We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
