I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
