chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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