this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
