so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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