By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
