worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
