I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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