worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
