also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I smell stomach acid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
