I'm going to jail i love you
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
