Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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