just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
