she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
there is puke in my bra ... again
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
