Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
