Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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