I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
