Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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