Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize