worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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