ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
