Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize