i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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