I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
