He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
