She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
