you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
