this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
