Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you traded sex for a burrito?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
