The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
