Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
