you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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