after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
