My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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