he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
