I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
